It’s been a Tough day for me so far. As most of you all know each year at this time I am always heading towards the Hankey Mountain for our annual hunting camping trip. My dad first took me there when I was 8 olds years, which was 1970. This would have been my 43 year; we missed one in 1985 because of a Hurricane, can’t remember which one it was. The whole region up there was flooded and down trees made it impossible to get into the forest road. Needless to say I wasn’t happy but there was nothing that really could be done. Since that time I have not missed a single year. In the fall of 1992 my dad had knee surgery he was 70 at the time and to make a long story short he ended up losing his leg due to complication. The veteran’s hospital in Hampton has their reasons and I have mine. But that is another story. That was the first year I had ever been up to Hankey without dad. I tried each year until his death to get him to come up there but after losing his leg and think he somehow lost the desire to do much of anything. That year one of my co-working came up with me, it was nice having someone there with me, but it was not dad. Each night I would drive into Churchville and call home from an old payphone to Teresa and then I would call dad. He would ask who was up there, how’s the weather, was everything working on the camper. I know he always wanted me to go up without him but every time I spoke with him I could hear the sadness in his voice that he was not there. This always made me feel guilty and when I would get home and tell him about the trip I never acted as if I had that good of time. Dad past in the spring of 1995 and that November was the hardest drive I have ever made. Although this was not the first trip I had made without him it was the first somehow the first trip without him. Twice I pulled off the interstate because I could not drive. I know the drivers around me most have been thinking “what the hell is wrong with this guy” but I made it and that year something change. Opening day of deer season found me sitting in a place that dad and I would go to and sit before I started hunting on my own. There was a peace in the air and I felt happy. I began talking with my dad, I know this sounds crazy but I felt he was there talking with me. If someone would have walked up on me I know they would have thought they had walked up on a crazy dude talking to himself in the middle of the forest. Ever since that year I drive up that gravel road and sit under those big oak trees and I talk with dad for hours. When Zach started coming up with me 10 years ago my trips started meaning ever more to me. Our deer camp has grown to as many as 12 some years. This trip has as much meaning to me as anything I can think of minus my family. Every year when the weather starts to change I start getting the feeling of excitement just as I did when I was 10 or 11 years old. That is why this day is so tough. I thought after having my knee surgery I would be able to handle the trip with ease, but due to being in the hospital after developing staph I am just not able to make the trip this year and it is eating at me something crazy. I know there will be other years, but somehow that does not ease my sadness. I feel empty inside.
I’ll miss the camp and seeing old my friends. I’ll miss spending some time with Zach and all the things we do during this week. Most of all Ill miss talking with my dad in our place.

It really leaves a hole in you when you miss those "once a year" trips that really are so deeply anticipated for the twelve months preceding. While l am sure you will be right back out there soon, don't get too far down in the dumps in the meantime. Get yourself heeled up, physically and mentally, and work on those wing bone calls in the interim.

I am so sorry Tim.. I gotta say I got a bit emotional just reading this one.. I miss Deer camp a lot, we too went religiously to one spot to camp all through my early childhood and teenage years, drank my first beer at Deer Camp and told too many lies to count.. and I even flew home when I lived in AZ to attend.. have not been in over ten years now as my uncle and great uncles passed away and it just fell apart from there..

I wish you a quick and safe recovery and hope you are back on Hanky real soon..

Tim, you were blessed the opportunity to spend a good amount of time in the outdoors with you Dad enjoying the things that you both loved. We all feel your sorrow and I'm willing to bet that every hunter on here does really understand how you feel. Hunting is part of our souls. Life is an ebb and flow. Learning to weather that fact is part of the journey. Perhaps the next trip to camp will be more special than you may now realize. Live GN said, heal up both physically and mentally.